May 16, 2011

Mondays…

Hello blog readers. It’s been a few days since I’ve bored you with the mundane goings-on of my life. I have news, though!

As of right now (4:33pm EST), I only have three more exams until graduation. Big news. I know, you’re all very excited for me. I’m excited, too.

I’m also really excited for Friday morning, when my 4 best girlfriends and I fly off to Vegas for a weekend of reckless abandon because we will all have graduated college (or… all but one, but she graduates when we get home). I won’t be home until Monday, which just so happens to be M’s birthday. I hope I win oodles of money, wouldn’t that be a wonderful birthday gift for the love of my life?? “Here babe, here’s a wad of cash. Love you!!” haha. I’d like it…

Obviously, I can tell you if it was fun or terrifying, but I can’t spill any deetz. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. End of discussion.

I’ll be home from Vegas for approximately two days, and which point I will head back to the airport and zoom off to Texas to see Mom and Dad. I’m almost more excited about this then I am about Vegas. I just miss them to no end. They’re not coming here for graduation because I am not walking. Kind of a bummer, but I purchased my flight for Vegas before I decided to graduate, and guess what ceremony takes place while I’m cruising at 32,000ft. Poor prior planning. Oh well.

Welp, with all of the excellent things happening in my life, there has to be at least one downer, right?? And there is…

M and I have decided to postpone our wedding. We are no longer getting married in January and I’m pretty bummed about it. We’ve been doing a lot of soul searching (and counting and estimating) and we realized that while we’ve been engaged for almost two years, getting married in January feels a little bit like rushing it. We’re not financially stable, and I’m not exactly what you call a bread winner (yet!!!). We also have concerns about insurance and other related issues. Fortunately our venue is being AMAZING about it, and they told us they would hold our deposit and to let them know when our new date is and we’ll work it all out.

Things are shaping up, I suppose. Big things. Crazy things. I’m not quite ready to grow up – but it seems as though I don’t have a choice anymore. Gah!

What’s going on in your lives?  Big news? Happy news? Anything??

May 10, 2011

Exam Week..

Tomorrow is the famous “study day,” where no one actually studies because they’re too hung over from the parties they all went to tonight. However, for the few of you (like me) who are home and safe in bed at 9:36pm on the eve of “study day,” you should consider waking up for this little treat.

A friend of mine on Facebook posted this link, and since I have nothing better to do, I clicked on it. Apparently Mars, Venus, Jupiter, and Mercury will all be viewable by the naked eye just before sunrise on the horizon for the rest of the month, but particularly beautiful and easy to see tomorrow morning around 5:30am.

I know I am setting my alarm. I love when nature is beautiful and strange things happen. Watch the video, it’s cheesy and inspiring.

Let me know what you see! :)

May 8, 2011

Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.

First off, I loved Slaughterhouse Five. SO GOOD. Like, so so so good.

Second. M and I miiiight be changing our wedding plans just a bit. We have to decide by like Friday. I’ll keep you updated. It’s getting a little crazy over here in the M/Kate household. But good things are happening. Todays highlight? Liberty Bell and Dori were groomed today. Thank goodness because they were smelling pretty awful. I couldn’t figure it out. I just gave them baths not two weeks ago, but alas, their odor was becoming a serious issue. I whisked them off to PetSmart and three hours later I picked up dogs who, if I had to identify them by sniff, I wouldn’t have been able to do it. Complete 180 in the smell department. The stinky culprit? Un-expressed anal glands…

… Gross. And to think I’ve been letting them sleep in my bed. Apparently Dori’s “cute” tail chasing should have been an indicator. Who knew? I certainly didn’t. Regardless, they both seem much happier now… but I am the happiest of the bunch! :)

Here’s a picture of the two little happy beasties on the way home. Such lovers, they are.

Sleepy Pups Post Groom

Oh, and Happy Mothers Day to all you moms out there. (In my opinion, having dogs counts!)

May 7, 2011

Fun Fact…

My Great-Grandparents were named James and Lilly.

The Harry Potter fanatic in me went wild today. Bahaha. Best. News. Ever.

I just thought you should know. :)

Back to studying and reading Vonnegut! T-Minus 11 days til undergrad degree # 1 is complete! woohoo!

May 5, 2011

A most interesting start to the day…

Today I woke up (late, as usual) and laid in bed for an extra 30-45 minutes checking Facebook, Perez Hilton, Weather.com, and my four separate email accounts… totally productive. Then I realized I had to be in class in an hour and 10 minutes (and I live 30 looong miles from school). Shit. What do I do?

I beg M to make me breakfast while I shower and being the excellent fiance that he is, he did it. In the shower, I realize that I really didn’t feel like driving to school… so when I get out I say “Hey M, why don’t you come to my human sexuality class with me? It’s pretty interesting!” to which he responds, “I know, I went for you last week while you were procrastinating on that paper…” … Shit. I thought my excellent plan was being foiled before it had begun.

As I was taking my first bite into my eggs and cheese on a mini bagel sandwich, he pipes up and says “Is today Thursday?” … Confused, I answer that it is, and he gleefully shouts “IT’S TRANNY DAY!” and my mind blanked for a moment until I realized that in the beginning of the semester my professor had mentioned that towards the end of the semester a transexual person would be coming to talk to our class and that he must’ve mentioned that last Thursday when M was being unnecessarily amazing.

So off we went, to meet this transgender person (who I had no idea how to refer to because our professor had not hinted, in my presence, about which gender he/she is). We arrive (late) to class and get a seat, and there is a very tall, very attractive woman standing in the front of the class. Her name is Mara, and she is amazing. She spoke to us about the challenges that come with feeling like you’re the wrong gender for your whole life. She talked about the things I had never considered, like how transgender people have to deny their natural social inclinations and learn how to be the gender that they were born to, and how if/when someone does transition, how you have to re-learn socialization skills. I didn’t think about how a man who became a woman wouldn’t know what shoes to wear to a particular event, or that certain actions are taboo.

She also spent a lot of time talking about the extreme challenges of body alterations for both types of transition (male–>female, female–>male). Apparently, for gender reassignment surgery, it’s much easier for a male have his parts altered to look like natural female parts than it is to have female parts altered to become male. She said it was all about the “raw materials”, i.e; length of urethra, skin, the fact that there is practically no way to change what a woman has to a long, sometimes flaccid, sometimes firm body part. There are things that can help, but nothing you can really do to make it look as though it’s been there forever.

Conversely, for facial and body reconstructive surgery, it’s much easier for a female to become more masculine. Two years of monthly testosterone shots and she will be shaving her face and her voice will be deep enough to sound like it’s coming from a naturally born male. Also, on top of hair growth, her facial features will change from being soft and feminine to more rigid and harsh. Biology takes care of all of that. But when a man wants to become a woman, it takes multiple surgeries, including but not limited to jaw placement movement, jaw reshaping, nose reshaping, brow line reduction, movement of the hair line, removal of adams apple, etc etc etc. Mara said she had 14 procedures on her face alone. Amazing.

She talked about the struggles men and women face when they can’t afford to have all of the work done in a condensed period of time… when people can’t identify your gender they get nervous, and that’s when the violence happens. She talked about the severe life changes men and women face, how everyone they know is in  a way transitioning with them, and how important support is for ALL people involved.

I just found Mara to be such an amazing, courageous woman. She showed us pictures of her before, during, and after her transition. She was also kind and generous enough to show us a full frontal image of herself post gender reassignment surgery. She radiated happiness, and even when someone asked her a difficult question, she held her head high an answered it. All except for one. Someone asked her what her male name was, and she said she doesn’t say that anymore. It’s irrelevant, because she is Mara. That’s it. I loved it.

She touched on so much more than what I’ve included here, but this is getting absurdly long. Just know, that M and I loved Mara’s presentation today. I applaud her courage and thoughtfulness and I appreciate more than words can say that she is willing to put herself out there for the benefit of us, a younger generation who hopefully will be open minded enough to help, not hurt, other men and women like her.

Her presentation really was life-changing. Hopefully, the snack my wonderful M brings me when he picks me up from class will be a nice end to a very interesting and enlightening day. I’ll keep you updated.

P.s. If you have questions about her presentation, ask! I’ll do my best to relay what she said. If I can’t, I’ll get her contact info from Dr. Sawyer and you can ask her yourself! :)

May 2, 2011

Whaaaat is going on?

I woke up this morning because I was having an awful dream about overdue bills (weird, right?). To calm my 7am jitters, I promptly paid my bills, and then I got on Facebook. My world was rocked as I saw all of these status updates about the death of Osama bin Laden. What a wakeup call! I googled it (because I don’t believe most people of Facebook) and found a lovely little article published by the Washington Post, and then I saw the YouTube video of President Obama telling the world that there was a mission to kill bin Laden and it was successful. Well howdy-doo. What excellent news.

I am, however, disappointed in Americas reaction. I mean really, the loss of ANY human life, even that of a sadistic terrorist, should not be celebrated in the way many Americans have apparently chosen. I’m just having a hard time with this. I’m thrilled he’s dead. It’s very exciting news. But I don’t feel that it’s necessary to run around the streets of D.C., shouting and being (in my opinion) ridiculous. There are better ways to celebrate.

I know a lot of people won’t agree with me on this topic, and that’s fine. To each his own. I am just trying to work it out in my own head. I generally have a problem with too much “AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!” anyway. I love my country, but Darryl Worley gets on my nerves. Ya know what I mean?

April 26, 2011

Frustrating

I’m currently writing a paper that’s due in approximately four hours and I keep writing like I write on my blog. HUGE problem, because no one cares what I really think about Shakespeare – the only thing that matters is I stick to the question. But it’s hard when I’d rather go on a tangent about something completely irrelevant. This is getting difficult.

Can I do it?  … I’ll let you know later.

Ready. Set. Go!

April 20, 2011

Overwhelmed

Definition of OVERWHELM

transitive verb
1
2
a : to cover over completely : submerge b : to overcome by superior force or numbers c : to overpower in thought or feeling
(Definition from Merriam-Webster.com — Keyword: Overwhelmed)

Overwhelmed

Google Images


I’m feeling very overwhelmed lately. Today I applied (late, obviously) for graduation. Certain things that are happening in my life that have caused a little shift in my plans. Apparently, according to the two advising offices I visited today, I can graduate this semester with my degree in criminology and criminal justice and still work towards my degree in english language and literature. This is excellent because I really need to get a real job and make some money… I’m also more than a little burnt out when it comes to school. But it’s also extremely terrifying.
I’ve been living in my lovely little academia cocoon — I have no idea what I’m going to do on “the outside”. My excuse for not getting a real job is now gone. I (will) have a degree from an amazing and widely recognized university. I will have the time to work. I have the needs to work. I’m just terrified. All of this preparation and I don’t feel adequate. I don’t feel like I’m necessarily better than the girl sitting next to me. (You know what I mean. I’m home alone, so no one is actually sitting next to me. But if someone was sitting next to me… you understand..) It’s so frustrating. I’m terrified. I’ve not even been to the career center yet! My resume isn’t written! I haven’t had the weeks of preparation as my peers. I have 4 weeks before I’m (mostly) free of school and in desperate need of a real, full time job (preferable with benefits!). Everyone else has been preparing for this since at least January. Crap!
I’m really excited, though. Really truly. I’m just also really scared.
Anyone else???
April 18, 2011

Also…

This happened on my way to school on Thursday…

Burning Bus

Scariest thing I’ve seen in a long time.

Fortunately, a little further down the road (when the traffic started moving again) I saw the children who were on the bus and what looked like a bus driver. Everyone was safe.

April 18, 2011

Busy

Again, it has taken me far too long to write another post and for that I am sincerely sorry. My schedule has been a little off lately due to some severe exhaustion, class cancelations, and working like I’m broke. Oh wait. I am broke. Nevermind…

This past weekend was a 4 day weekend for me and I cannot tell you where the time went. I really just have no idea. I know Friday I had a doctors appointment and work at job #1. That shouldn’t have taken all day, but lo and behold, I did absolutely nothing else. Well, that’s a lie. I spent approx. an hour and 15 minutes at Elle’s house. I just love her. Best maid of honor EVER. <3 really though, she is.

Saturday the weather was awful, but I spent my morning/mid afternoon at a wedding for M’s mom’s best friend. It was a wonderfully beautiful same sex marriage in Washington, D.C.. I took pictures with M’s moms camera and should have them eventually. I’d love to show you. They each work tuxedo’s sans jacket (they’re women) and looked absolutely stellar. I do wonder, though, why most of the gay women there had short hair… almost masculine hair. I’ve never understood that. They are all in their mid-late(er) 40’s or so, and a lot of straight women cut all their hair off around then too. I don’t know. I think it’s a strange correlation. Anyway… Saturday night I was supposed to work at job #2… but I was rained out. Bad weather made me lose out on a lot of money this weekend. I am not very happy about that. What amazes me is that I did nothing with the three free hours I found myself in. I did, however, watch Maryland lax ALMOST beat Johns Hopkins. It was an admirable game, and there is no blame in losing like that in overtime. There just isn’t. I’m still proud of you, boys.

Sunday was puppy class! I’m not enjoying the intermediate puppy class as much as I enjoyed beginner. I feel like I paid the same amount of money for significantly less education. I hate it when I go and pay to learn something and then I don’t learn anything. It’s highly dissatisfying. I’m not a fan. So, in a funk because I’m dissatisfied with my intermediate-dog-owner-training, I came home and watched TV all day. Literally, all day. I watched so much TV that the TV actually stopped displaying picture for some time. M’s moms thought I broke it. I felt bad. It’s new – and then I remembered a magical word — “warranty”. But don’t worry. I didn’t actually break it. I don’t know what happened, but it worked just fine today. All day. I would know, because I watched TV all day – again. I can’t remember what I watched yesterday, but today I watched Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part I on bluray. Loooooove it. :D I was supposed to watch The Tempest and begin working on my paper for it, but my lack of motivation amazes me.

I must be stressed. This is how I get when I’m stressed … completely and entirely unproductive. When I allow myself to feel overwhelmed I just shut down and spend all of my time either trying to forget the impending doom or hoping to God that I’ll make it through alive. Yes, stress is present. It’s also represented by the nearly $10 I spent on ice cream today. Guess what? Ice cream is already gone. Ugh. I’m disgusting.

So. That was my weekend. Productive? Not at all. Relaxing? Mildly. I really need to get my sh*t together.

Does anyone else out there have this completely-stressed-but-can’t-seem-to-do-anything-at-all problem?